


A Little Too Late

by Lighter9603



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-09 16:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11672820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lighter9603/pseuds/Lighter9603
Summary: Through working with the CW Network, Leah was able to form a friendship with Jared, Jensen, and Misha. They helped her through her dark spot, but now she has recovered. She is back in the midst of their antics, and they try to help come back to her true self. Along the way she has to battle her past, present, and fight for her future. With a pair of piercing blue eyes on the line, anything can happen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first piece of work, so please be kind. I am trying to make sure I get the time line rights, but I know I will have mistakes. I love all the boys with their wives. They are amazing. I do not own anyone or anything, except for my original character, Leah.

“Leah!”  
I turned toward the annoyingly shrill voice and was greeted with a bear hug. After being set back down by my delightful, slightly caffeinated, star, I took the offered coffee from him.  
“Misha, I’ve told you a million times before, don’t be surprised when I nut punch for scarring me,” I smirk over my cup.  
“I do apologize fair maiden. I’m just happy to see you on set today! It’s been awhile since you’ve been called in.”  
“Well who’s fault is that numb nuts?”  
We both chuckle and enter the sound stage where the other 2 stooges were filming. I had been called by the production company because some of the actors needed to be monitored after failing to show up on time to a few conventions this past year. Waving good bye to Misha, I straighten my blazer and make my way toward Jensen’s agent. Ron shook my hand and we both turned to watch the boys.   
Finally, the director was happy and the two went to get out of their wardrobe. Ron and I headed outside to discuss the issues at hand. Apparently, the boys were just going back to the glory days since the wives did not travel with them and got crazy this past year.   
“I’m sorry Scott couldn’t be here to talk in person,” Ron apologized for the other man.   
“It’s no problem. He explained what happened with Jared and Jensen. I’ll tell you what I told him. I know those two are not bad guys. I have no fear with this upcoming press/convention tour. I’m just here to take precautions. We all now PR is just to cover their asses,” O tail off in a giggle as Ron laughs along.   
I tell Ron to let Jenson and Jared know to meet me at my hotel in the morning. He walked me over to the waiting car and sees me off. Starring out the window, I’m still amazed by all the stars that are so visible at night. My driver leaves me in peace as we drive to my hotel. I try to gather my thoughts to figure out the game plan for the next 2 months. Pulling out the iPad I bring up the schedule for tomorrow. The LED screen caught my ring and sent light out everywhere. Looking at it, a faint smile graces my face.   
“That’s a very nice ring ma’am,” my driver tells me.   
“Thanks. It’s a little too flashy for my taste, but my fiancé is proud of it,” I reply and turn back to the screen.   
Adding a few more notes, I shut it down and gather my things realizing we pulled up to the hotel. I tip the driver and thank him for his services. After checking in, I head up to my room and get straight into bed. Being Jet lagged and exhausted from traveling, I quickly slip into sleep.  
-  
I’m pulled out of my sleep by the annoying sound of my phone. Looking at it, I see the network’s number” and I groan. Picking it up, I unleash hell,  
“Who the hell fucks up this damn early?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She woke up way to early. Also, we get to see Rob and Leah meeting for the first time! Let's see how well that goes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the boys and all their wives! I own nothing or anybody, except for Leah

CW Statement  
-At this time we will not be releasing any personal comments for Mr. Benedict. We do however want to confirm that he and his wife are separating for the present moment and ask that you please give them the respect of keeping your distance. –  
-Leah Elain-

I sit my bag down and face Jared and Jensen across from me. Not saying a word, I open my laptop and pulling up the page featuring the PR statement that was released 3 hours ago. I take a sip from my coffee and watch as they read it. Both of them just look at me waiting for my unavoidable lecture.  
“I’m tired, hungry, and I haven’t had a cigarette yet. I’ve already had to cover one moronic ding bat today and ain’t even 10 am. So, you two will listen or I will leave the network and all of you can deal with whoever they send in by yourself,” I sit back and fix my eyes on them.  
Jared nods his head and is the first to speak.  
“We know we messed up last year and we are very sorry about that because now you have been called in. With that being said, we will be on our best behavior,” Jared is sincere with his answer.  
Jensen has a slight goofy grin that just makes me want to slap him.  
“However, now you get to spend 2 months with us,” Jensen beams at me and I can’t help but smile.  
“Alright dick bags, let’s go over the schedule and the rules and then one of you is driving me around so I can smoke.”  
We all laugh getting down to business, eat, and head out. 

Jensen takes me out so I can satisfy my habit. I hand him a few so he can indulge himself. Windows rolled down, music blaring he catches my up on everyone’s lives.  
“Now Mark has another baby,” Jensen explains while flicking his cig butt out the window.  
“Hell, everyone is having kids now,” my statement causes him to cut his eyes toward me.  
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”  
“It’s not. I just don’t know if the whole kid thing is for me. I love kids, you know my past. I just don’t want to put any child through what I did.  
I stare out the window, letting my words hang in the air.  
“Never say never Leah. You told me that,” he reaches over to squeeze my hand in comfort.  
“Enough about me. Tell me what the deal is with this Robert Benedict. It’s never a good sign when I have to release a press statement my first day and I haven’t even met the guy yet,” my irritation very clear.  
I’ll tell you, if you tell me about that ring,” Jensen’s laughter caused me to turn red in embarrassment.  
“Throw in lunch and you got yourself a deal.”

 

Sitting in Jensen’s apartment, finishing up our lunch, I remember how great of a time I always had with him. Jenson was the first cast member I had met when I first started with the network. He was also my first PR case. A stupid alcohol induced night caused me to be stuck with him and Jared for 2 years. When I had my dark time, he stood by me and checked up on me constantly. Then when him and Danneel hot together, they accepted me with transition back home. It killed me to say good bye to them when I left.  
Jensen was on the phone with Jared, so I stepped out to have another smoke. Listening to the traffic and the birds pulled me into a nice daze. Alone with my thoughts, I got prepared for the coming conversation about my engagement and Mr. Benedict. Taking another drag, I hear the screen door slide open. Jensen stands by the rails and set his eyes on me. I toss him my pack and he helps himself. After lighting up, we start.  
“Alright, you want to know about Rob. First, he isn’t like what you think.”  
“How do you know what I think?”  
“Because it’s the same way you met me.”  
“True, but you were 25 when you were acting like a dumbass. Mr. Benedict is 45,” I exhale another puff of smoke, push myself off the chair, “I understand that separation is rough, but it’s no excuse to punch a photographer and destroy his camera.”  
“Fair enough, but you don’t know the whole story. Yes, no one in the gossip cares about the whole story, but it’s been a tough couple of year for him. About 6 months after you want back home, Rob started on the show. He was great and then his band started joining us on our conventions. Him and his wife were great! Everything was going perfectly for them,” we both put our cigarettes.  
“Ok that’s great and all, but get to the point,” I urged after we both headed inside and grabbed a beer each.  
“Robert survived stroke about 2 years ago. It came out of nowhere. It took about a year for him to fully recover,” Jensen sat his drink down and fixed his stare on me.  
“I’m going to assume that has wife took care of him and became a fulltime nurse and not a wife,” I know this story all to well.  
“Yep. At first it was ok, but then we started to notice the strain between the two. She stopped coming with Rob to the conventions and she was always gone when he was home. Rob knew she grew to resent him, but he never knew how much. He thought with this upcoming convention tour, they could rekindle it all. That’s why he was out last night. He proposed the idea and she gave him a big ole slap in the face,” Jensen’s face said it all guilt and sadness.  
“What happened Jensen? Please don’t tell me you fucked her,” my statement made him jerk his head up.  
“Me? No! I didn’t sleep with her! God Leah, you think I could do that?”  
“Well by your face, your guilty of something. Please just tell me,” I asked while taking a pull from my drink.  
“I look guilty because I knew what was going on. Well I had an idea, but last night just confirmed it. She has been having an affair with his manager.”  
“Well damn. No wonder I haven’t heard from him. He’s probably running away with his tail between his legs,” I let out a breath of relief and understanding, “I’m guessing that is why he was drinking last night.”  
A silence fell over the two of us as I processed that whole story. I stand and ask for my pack back from Jensen and motion to follow me. We go sit back on the balcony and I light. Jensen declines when I offer him another. We sit in our thoughts just looking at the sky.  
“Now, I held up my end of the deal. Spill,” Jensen states breaking the silence.  
I look at my ring and try to figure out how to explain Austen.  
“We met about a year and a half ago. I saw a show with some of my friends and he was in it. I fell for his voice. Turned out that one of my friends knew him, and they invited him to eat with us. We hit it off. He is everything I dreamed of; talented, intelligent, witty, and hilarious. We get along great,” I inform Jensen with a slight blush to my cheeks.  
“When do we get to meet this knight of yours,” Jensen smirks at me.  
“He will join us while we are in Seattle. He has a break in the show, so it won’t be a problem,” I tell him.  
“Does he know about your past?” Jensen’s concerned face makes me drop my gaze.  
“No, he doesn’t, and we are going to keep it that way,” I give him a fixed look so that he understands that the conversation is over.  
Knocking over the front door saves me from the pained expression in Jensen’s eyes. I light up yet again, inhale while he goes to answers the door. I think about what his questions and repeat to myself that it’s ok for the best that Austen doesn’t know about the past. He doesn’t need to know. He fell for me as I am now. That’s all that matters.  
I hear the voices from inside. The new guest does not sound happy. As they come closer I make out what is being said and found out that I’m the cause of the guest’s disgruntled tone.  
“Seriously, why do I need a PR person now. I mess up once and they send a damn babysitter. Not only that, but she is young enough to be my daughter. Jensen, I get it, I was drunk and lost my temper, but it doesn’t warrant for them to send a chaperon with us.”  
I hear Jensen trying to calm the guy down. I do my best to just keep quiet. Still in my chair I’m pretty blocked from their view. However, I forgot about them seeing the smoke as exhaled.  
“Are you smoking now? I can smell it all over man,” the gentleman must have noticed the smoke coming from outside because I hear the sliding door being shoved aside. Jensen is trying desperately to keep this guy from running into me. Knowing that if it does happen that it will not end very well. Sadly, Jensen isn’t fast enough.  
Standing in front of me is the disgruntled man. If he wasn’t so upset with me I would easily call him attractive. Curly short brown and pepper gray hair adorned his head. A well-built figure, but slightly tense at the moment. Graceful fingers were curled into fists at his side. All of that could not compare to the set of ice blue eyes. The longer I stared into them, I could feel myself getting lost.  
“Who the hell are you?” his shouted demand sent all charm and grace out the window.  
I blow out my last drag and put out my cigarette. I stand up at my full height and look him dead in the eyes.  
“My name is Leah and I’m your damn babysitter,” as the realization downs on him I smirk at him and extend my hand, “Now I’m guessing you’re the reason why I was wake up at 3am this morning. It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Benedict.”  
At that I shake his hand take one last swig from my beer.  
“Well this is interesting,” Jensen awkwardly laughs.  
Mr. Benedict just stands there with his mouth open wide, not knowing how to respond. I go back inside and start to gather my things. I put my red blazer on and slip back into my black pumps. With my purse in hand, I give Jensen a kiss on the cheek and tell him I’ll catch a cab. I turn back to Mr. Benedict.  
“My plane leaves at 2 tomorrow. I expect you at my hotel at 9am so that we may get your schedule finalized. I’m not only your publicist, I’m your temporary manager,” I give a stern glare and walk out.  
As I’m leaving I can hear Jensen yelling at Mr. Benedict and I leave with a shit eating grin. I hear my phone going and answer with a smile as I hear my fiancé’s voice. I hail a cab , tell the driver my destination, and sit back listening to Austen tell me about his rehearsal. He goes on and on. It’s not till I get in my room he stops because he has to back to the stage. With a rushed ‘I love you’ I flop on the bed.  
After a quick nap, I decide to get my stuff together for tomorrow and get comfy. I strip off my professional clothes and pull on my leggings and t-shirt. Sitting down at the desk, I open my laptop and start catching up on my e-mails. Half listening to Call the Midwife in the background, I contemplate how come when I’m not in the office so many people loose so much common sense. I spend at least an hour responding to mind numbing questions with dumbed down answers. Looking down at my phone I see that I missed a text from Mish wanting to know if I wanted to meet up with him and Jared for a drink.  
After 3 rings he picks up,  
“Hey!” I wince at the very loaud greeting.  
“Misha how many have you had already?”  
“Oh shut up. We haven’t left yet, we were waiting on your reply.”  
I can hear Jared yelling hello in the background.  
“As long as I don’t have to fancy, I’m game,” I tell them and write down the name of the bar and change into some jeans before heading out.  
Walking into the bar, I spot Jared’s massive form and join him and Misha. Realizing that thihs was a very down to earth bar that had a patio and personal fire’s outside, I made them go out back with me. Misha had so kindly already orded me a draft. I curled my feet up and enjoyed the oncoming sun set with the boys.  
“So Jensen called me earlier,” I stared over the rim at Jared.  
“Is that so?”  
“Yeah, and to me what happened.”  
Jared seemed to be intimidated by what I would. He wouldn’t look at me and was fidgeting with his glass. Misha just sat there with a grin. So I turned my eyes on him.  
“Looks like you know where this conversation is going, so go ahead and enlighten me,” as the last word left my lips, Jared exhaled a sigh of relief.  
“We just have never known anyone to shut Rob up like you did. It’s about time someone can match him in sass,” Misha’s chuckle eased me down.  
“Listen Leah, Rob is just going through a rough time. He doesn’t mean any harm. He hasn’t gotten to know you like we have. Once he does, I’m sure he will love you like the rest of us,” Jared warm gaze comforted me.  
“I don’t hold anything against Mr. Benedict. Granted, I did snap at him, but I will put my face forward,” I admit defeat and talk another drink.  
“Hopefully he doesn’t get to know you the way we did,” Misha laughed.  
I choked on my drink and looked at him in shock. Jared is laughing his ass off beside me. They are both remembering the time when we all go together to drink in my hotel room a few years ago. It was my 2nd year with the network and Misha just joined the show. I was sent out to get to know him and check up on the boys. Jensen suggested having a few drinks and I offered my room.  
We somehow decided to play never have I ever. They quickly learned of my past in college when I had a very sexual appetite. I was already 3 sheets in the wind and was feeling very friendly. By the end of the night, I somehow had Jensen’s, Jared’s, and Misha’s tongue down my throat. Not my best moment, but it is one of our fondest, slightly embarrassing, bonding memories. I threw my napkin at Misha, but I laugh along with the two of them.  
“I’m just glass you and your wife are open and that you and Gen didn’t start dating until after that!” I say smiling at them.  
“Same here,” Jared gives me a warm smile.  
We have another drink, and I tell them I need to get back so I can get some sleep before my meeting with Mr. Benedict. Once back in my room, I wash my make up off and get into some PJs. Slipping into bed, I set my alarm. The last thought before being swept away by dreams, is how beautiful a certain pair of blue eyes were when they are heated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see Leah's excitement for her wedding. Do things go well with her and Mr. Benedict's breakfast meeting?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anything or anyone except for the lovely Leah. I love the boys and their wives!
> 
> I want to give a BIG OLE' thank you to LissieRT for the comment and support! And to the others that showed some love with the Kudos!

I informed the doorman to tell Mr. Benedict that we will eat and have our meeting in my room. I left a key for him, so that he could just come in without any trouble. Sitting out on the balcony, I sipped my coffee and smoked my cigarette. Feeling the sun’s warmth made me happy. I need a moment after having just spent half an hour trying to convince Austen that I did not want a summer wedding in the South. I love the sun, but I hate the heat. He knows that I have already agreed to everything else, but I do not want to sweat on my wedding party!  
I got lost in my thoughts of Austen and our relationship. The two of us getting together was such an amazing experience. He would call me each morning. Sometimes, I would get to know my office and he would have left a flower on my desk. Then I would get back to my place and he would be waiting to take me to dinner. Now being engaged and him in a new show has taken up a lot of time, but that was ok. At least I thought so.  
Before leaving for this trip, he did get upset that I didn’t do laundry that week or get the groceries either. Then this morning he wasn’t happy about me not agreeing he wasn’t happy about me not agreeing to a summer wedding. It didn’t help when I told him that my meeting with Mr. Benedict was in my room. I guess that it is endearing that he still gets jealous.   
Someone clearing their throat brought me back. I turn in my chair and see Mr. Benedict leaning against the door frame. I jump up and put out my cigarette, and wipe my hands.   
“Sorry Mr. Benedict. I was just admiring the sunrise for a little bit too long,” I would have finished but was distracted by his eyes. They really were that piercing blue. Shaking my head, I direct him to my desk and he sits down.   
“I don’t blame you. The sunrise is one of the perks of filming out here. However, you should see the sunsets in all of their glory,” his warm smile is the first one I have ever seen on him and it’s wonderful. We both just sit and look out the balcony doors.   
“Well,” I say getting started, “let’s begin with your schedule, shall we?” I pull out my computer and go over the details with him. It’s civil between the two of us. I plan on waiting for our food to be brought up before I try to smooth things over with him. He seems to have calmed down from our encounter the day before. When I’m pointing out some important info on the screen, he will cut eyes over to me, as if studying me. I then become self-conscious of my choice of attire for today. Since I knew that I would be heading straight to the airport after this, I just put on a jade colored shirt and some dark jeans. Nothing fancy. His stare was starting to make me squirm a little bit.   
“Mr. Benedict, do I have something on my face, or did I spill something on myself?” I turned fully toward him. This seemed to catch him off guard.  
“Oh no! I was just thinking how much of a 180 your look was from yesterday,” he started to sputter trying to back track, “not saying you look bad! Just different. Really nice!” My eyes go wide and I start to laugh, “God I’m going to stop talking!”  
I can see a tinge of pink in his face.  
“Well yesterday was because I had to go in and meet with Jensen’s agent and I was on set. Also, you never know who you will run into. Plus, I’m going straight to the airport after this,” I give him a small laugh. We both just share a look and silently thank the gods that the tension was gone between us. A knock at the door breaks our eyes apart.   
I tell the kitchen man to set up on the patio. I give a gracious smile and tip him as he leaves. Mr. Benedict follows me out and we sit to begin our breakfast, and begin to relax.   
“Mr. Benedict, I want to talk to you about yesterday if you don’t mind,” I sit my coffee down put my napkin on my lap. I see him still for a moment and he lets out a sigh.  
“Mrs. Elaine, I apologize for that. My emotions got the best of me, and the way I behaved is inexcusable,” his apology was legit. I did notice though he looked me straight in the eye instead of bowing his head as I come accustomed to with Austen.   
“I forgive you. Thank you for the apology. I appreciate it. Please understand though that I’m not here to have you under my thumb. Just a warning though because of your actions, I will be hovering around you more than the others. Also, with the lack of an agent, the network has put me in that role temporarily till you get it sorted out,” I hold my breath waiting to see how he will take it.  
I can see the internal conversation he is having. He leans back and rubs his chin pondering while fixing a thoughtful look on my face. The green of his shirt really set off his blue eyes, and they were shining in the sun. I could see his muscles ripple in arms while he continues to rub his chin in thought. I shifted in my seat with an unknown feeling building in my stomach.   
Finally, he stretched out his hand with a grin on his face, I take it.  
“Looks like we are set,” he lets go of my hand, but his fingers catch my ring.  
“It’s Ms. Elaine, not Mrs. At least not yet,” I explain to him.   
“Well congrats. I hope it works out better for you than it did for me,” I see the light dim in his eyes for a split second. So many emotions race across his face and I grab his hand. His eyes shoot to mine. I run my thumb across his knuckles and give his hand a squeeze.  
“Well, if Austen is even a 10th of what they say you are Mr. Benedict, I am to be one lucky gal,” I give a smile, but I have yet to let go of his hand. I can feel his strength by just holding it. You can feel the rough tips of his fingers from playing guitar his whole life. Somehow, they are soft and gentle. His grip was strong and warm. Clearing his throat, I let go.  
“I’m assuming that Austen is your fiancé?”  
I nod and sit back as we star to get to know eachother. He pours me another cup of coffee as I light up. He informs me about his band and his son. I tell him about my hometown and how I came back to work for the network. We share stories of our families. That seems to be the start of our connection. We go on and on, not paying attention to time. It’s not till the concierge calls to inform the car company is ready to take me to the airport. Mr. Benedict graciously helps me with my bags downstairs. He asks me on the elevator why I don’t have a bellhop bring my luggage.   
“Why? Both my legs and arms work, so I can do it.”  
Mr. Benedict even helps load my bags, and I turn to shake his hand goodbye.  
“Mr. Benedict has been a pleasure. Thank you for a lovely morning,” I let myself give his hand another squeeze and let go.  
“The pleasure was all mine Ms. Elaine. Please call me Rob by the way.”  
A sly smile crosses my lips as I get in the car. I look up at him as I reach to close the door.  
“In order for us to be on a first name basis Mr. Benedict, you have to pass The Test,” the smirk I give him causes a raised eyebrow and questioning eyes.  
“A test?”  
“No Mr. Benedict, The Test. Just ask the boys. They will know,” I smirk at home and close the door.  
His confused smile stayed in my head all the way home. Austen had dinner made for me when I got home. He talked about the show while I cleaned up the kitchen that was mess from his cooking. I kept thinking about Mr. Benedict. Even while Austen kissed me goodnight and kept trying to get me to ask him to stay the night, Mr. Benedict’s gentle face and piercing blue eyes evaded my mind. Still as I got ready for bed and laid down, all I could think about is if he could pass The Test. Hoping that he would.


	4. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anything that CW owns. Nor do I own the actors or their families. I sure as hell love them though!

I do apologize for not updating. Things have so hectic at work. I'm actually in the process of looking for a new job. I'm in a bad spot right now. I do not have anymore insurance since I turned 26 because I had been on my dad's. Well I do have the option of going on the insurance that my company has, but if I did that, I wouldn't be making enough to support myself. That's if I went with the cheaper plan....So I have not been on my anti-depressant medication, and it is taking it's toll on me. I'm doing my best though. I wake up and Look in the mirror and tell myself that, I almost lost the last battle, but damn it, I won't let it win the war. 

Anyways, I will get the next chapter up this week! I'm so excited about it too:)


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to meet Austen! What things do we learn about that relationship. Also, do we sense a little bit of desire to bloom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anyone or anything! I love the boys and their wives!!!! 
> 
> Also a big ole thank you for being so patient while I was in a bit of dark spot! Those who commented, you guys rock!!! 
> 
> Remember to comment and give me some love!

"I can't believe you told him about The Test!" Misha's voice echoed through my phone with disbelief. 

I had him on speaker as I sat at my vanity putting the finishing touches on my make up. I was getting ready for the engagement part that Austen's cast mates were throwing us. It has been a few weeks since the show wrapped filming for that season. Tomorrow we all fly out to hit the first convention and I would be gone fore sometime. Austen wanted the party before I left. 

"It wasn't like I told him what it was Misha! Also, I didn't plan saying anything about it. It just sort of slipped out. Why would I even suggest the Test when I'm engaged? We all know what happens when I drink." I put my earring in but it falls through my fingers, "Damn it."

"What are you doing?" Misha must of heard me.

"I'm getting ready for an engagement party that Austen's theatre company is throwing," I hold my breath knowing that Misha is not a big fan of Austen. 

Misha had met Austen when we agreed to meet him and his family one night while they were in town visiting some other family members. I have been around Misha and Vickie's kids before and I was used to their behavior, but Austen was not. He was very open with his body language and opinions about their behavior. To say the least, the evening could have gone better. 

"I still say you deserve better Leah," Misha's tone became protective. 

"You keep saying that like I'm going to start believing you," I hear the disappointment in his sigh and I pull on my red dress and slip into my nude heels. 

"Just stop acting like someone else around him, please?" His requet stopped me as I was putting my lipstick on.

I looked at myself and knew what he was talking about. 

When I came back home, I knew I had to change a few things in order to make sure I stayed stable, I had to grow up. However, I thought that meant being professional 24/7. It stuck and that is the Leah that Austen knows. Sometimes my true self would come out, but he would quickly let me know to put her back. It was for the best that she stayed back in the shadows when I'm around. Along with being around his friends, family, and colleagues.

"Misha, I need to get going. I'll see all of you tomorrow though, and just have everything with you this time. I don't want to have make a run for men's boxers again!" He mumbles his response of wishing me a safe flight and hangs up.

Standing in front of the mirror, I looked at the girl in the reflection. Her hair is done and make up flawless. The dress is wrinkle free. She was great. I see my ring cast a sharp light that hits my face. Blinking, I shake myself out the funk. Grabbing my clutch, I head off to the car. 

Driving with the window down, I let my hair blow behind me, while the smoke filters out. Letting my soundtrack of SMASH blast through, I begin to relax. Usually, I would not smoke in my car or blasting any kind of music if Austen is with me. He never approved of my taste in music or the smoking. However, he knows not to try to change too much of me. One time, he tried to change the channel while I was watching Sex and the City. That did not end pretty with him. I gave him a yelling match to the death that night and the silent treatment for 2 weeks. So I compromised. I didn't smoke around him, I let him pick the music, and avoid shows he doesn't approve of when he is around. 

I pull up to the theatre and hand my keys to the valet. Walking up the steps, I put my smile on and push my shoulders back. Getting into the lobby, I'm greeted by everyone and the gush over my ring. They ask me everything from how did he do it to what flowers we will have. Laughing and smiling I tell them to ask Austen sense he has basically planned it all. Feeling a pair of arms wrap around me, I jump and turn to see just the man smiling at me. Soon, I see the smile falter for a split moment as he harshly whispers,

"You could have sprayed something to cover up the fucking smoke."

With his smile back in place, he gave my hip a sharp grip and pecked me on the cheek. All the girls awed as he lead me to the front where the mics were. The producers and directors were there and gave a speech filled with best wishes and warmth for the future. Everyone cheered and toasted to our happiness. Then Austen too to the mic. Everyone grew silent again, but I saw someone with a set of familiar blue eyes to the side of the crowd. My heart stopped for a brief moment as I realized Mr. Benedict was starring at me. I turned my attention back to Austen. 

"Thank you to everyone for being here. Leah and I are so grateful to have so many wonderful friends and colleges supporting us. We can't wait to start our new and better life together. With that I have another announcement," I quirk my eyebrow at him as he grabbers my hand to tug me closer. Mr. Benedict's eyes zero in on that action.

"Once the show opens and I finished my 8 weeks with it, and the wedding is done, Leah and I will be moving to Arizona! This will be so that I can open the show at the new additional location for the company!" Austen raised our hands and gave me a rough quick kiss on the lips.

I kept my smile on though, but I was livid. Tugging Austen's hand, I drag him outside to the theatre's courtyard. 

"What the hell?" I yell out more forcefully.

" What?" He gives me a look like I'm the crazy one. 

"Are you kidding me?! You make an announcement to everyone about OUR life, but you didn't talk to ME about it. How am I suppose to do my job in fucking Arizona when I'm based here in Texas?!" My fuming glare was zeroed in on Austen. With my focus on him, I failed to hear and notice the onlooker standing behind the tree trying to not intrude. 

"I thought you would be happy for me. I do not appreciate you dragging me out here like I committed some heinous crime. Some people would be thrilled about this! You, however, are throwing a tantrum," his tone of voice caught me off guard.

"Some people like whom, Austen?" my question left a heavy silence that spoke volumes. I've gotten used to girls making it known that they are attracted to him. The star who can do wrong in the theatre world. No one has actually succeeded in being with him, until recently. There was one girl who's name that has been mentioned one too many times for my liking. 

"I'll ask again, some people like whom?"  
"Amber! Ok Amber was excited for me. She showed me support that I was hoping you would." His co-star Amber was the antagonist in the show and in my life, " Plus, once we are married you won't be working anymore!"

At those words I step into his space.

"Do NOT tell me what I will and will not be doing Austen. And if Amber is so happy for you, go celebrate with her," my voice was harsh and demanding. Austen's eyes grew wide knowing how upset I was.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made that announcement. Just think about it though. We don't have to decide anything right now. Take your trip and when I visit, we can decide then, ok?" He rubs my arms and I just nod my head.

Austen kisses my forehead and goes back inside. Instead of following, I pull out my smokes and light one up. There was a low stone wall that high enough for me to get up and sit on it with ease. Tears of frustration were threatening to fall, but I held them in. Tilting my head back, I let the warm rays of sun bring some calm to me. A twig being crunched brought me back to reality. Looking to the noise, I see those familiar blue eyes.

"Fancy meeting you here," his warm voice washes over me, yet it doesn't relax me. 

"How much did you hear?" my eyes full of panic makes him go still.

"Most of it," he leans on the wall standing close enough that the warmth of his arm next to my thigh is enticing. I could smell the spice from his cologne and it made me smile. It reminded me of home. His grey suit made him look very dapper ad handsome. The blush I tried to keep down was starting to crawl its way up my neck. Looking into his eyes I could feel that heat in my body rise. That sudden realization made me tear my gaze away. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked while taking another hit from my cig and changing the subject. Surprisingly, I didn't see any pity in his eyes. Mr. Benedict just kept his understanding look pointed at me and answered.

"My wife's firm represents the theatre, so I've known the owners and producers for sometime. They gave me a call thinking I could use a fun night away with everything going on," he rubs his chin and his fingers graze his lips. I can't help but notice how they look chapped but soft at the same time. I quickly bring my gaze up to his when I realize he has stopped talking. 

My breath hitches as I see the sun is hitting those blue eyes perfectly. He has moved closer and his arm is flush against my thigh. The silence shared between us is gentle and comforting. We both can hear the mocking birds in the distance and I can smell the flowers within the courtyard. The cherry from my cig falls out and hits my finger. Causing me to yelp as I stumble down. 

Mr. Benedict helps me steady myself. Those strong arms help me stand straight and I finally feel that calm wash over me. I become to aware of close we are.

"Well Mr. Benedict, thank you for showing up tonight. Even if it was not what you expected," I step back and give him a tight smile and make my way back inside to say my good byes. 

His hand grabs mine quickly. With a question glance, I let my eyes rest on our hands and let them travel to meet his gaze.

"Don't let him dominate you Leah. Don't submit. Your fire is too bright and beautiful to be put out," his words cause my fixed smile slip from my tired eyes. 

"What if I need to tame it before I burn," my words shaking.

"That just means you can feel," his thumb is caressing the back of my hand. 

This emotion was too much. The vulnerability was too overwhelming. Taking my hand back and wiping the single tear that trailed down, away. Fixing my dress and standing up straight with my shoulders back and my smile back on, I regain my composure. 

"Thank you for your help Mr. Benedict. I will see you tomorrow I'm sure," his sigh of defeat is not missed by me, " Also, it's Ms. Maxson still. Unless you pass."

His sad grin almost had me going back to him, but I pull myself together to shake his hand and walk away to go back into the theatre. 

On the way home, I could only think about how my name sounded on his lips. How would it sound when a smile was behind it, or another emotions that caused me to squeeze my thighs closer and to shudder. I need to concentrate and go over my bags to make sure I had everything for the next three months. I needed to concentrate on my fiance and not a man that I've only been around for a total of 1 day. 

Reaching my home, I check my phone and see that I have a text from Austen. Reading it, I realize that I'm not extremely disappointed that he won't be able to see me off in the morning. 

It's not till I get to the airport and on the plane that another realization hit. He never comment about continuing to work no matter what decision we make about the move.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Mr. Benedict and Leah have a little bit more of an understanding, how will the start of the convention tour begin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I do not own anyone or anybody. I love the boys and their wives! 
> 
> Please forgive me for this chapter. I needed to transition into the conventions, but couldn't get a handle on it. Also, I'm not very familiar with how conventions work. I'm just powering through this chapter and the next to get to The Test!

My feet were killing me. Standing up for hours on end in heels was never my favorite activity. For the sake of looking incredible though makes it worth it. I had agreed to attend a few sponsor outings on behalf of the network during the tour. I was not informed though that it would be all small talk, presentations, awful finger food, and nothing stronger than ice tea. However, all of this was better than having to come up with more excuses to the boys so that I would be able to avoid Mr. Benedict. 

I am very aware that I am acting childish, but I just needed some peace without prying eyes, no matter how blue there were. It did not matter that I snap my head in the general direction when I hear his name. Nothing mattered even if I have waking up from very pleasant dreams with his very gentle hands. It dd NOT matter. 

With the last presentation, I bid my political fair wells and leave. Thankfully, a car service was arranged for me, so that I didn't have to wait for a cab. Getting into the car, I give the driver my location. I check my phone and see a few snapchats from Misha, and a text from Jensen. He informed me that the crew was doing a show fro the fans and invited me to it, then drinks after with everyone. Knowing Mr. Benedict would be there, I politely declined stating that I was too tired. I had not shared my encounter with Mr. Benedict to him or anyone else, nor will I. 

Thanking the driver, I get my bags and check in. Once in my room, I kick my heels off and test the 3 stooges my room number. I warn them to stay out of trouble or I will kill them. Getting comfy, I strip down to a tank and a pair of boy shorts. Siting on the bed, flipping through the channels, I settle for a cheesy romcon. Once I'm nestled into my pillows, I'm ready for a nice little evening to myself.

Even thinking that should have been a warning. 

My phone starts going off. I ignore it, but it goes off again. I let it go to voicemail again, but that doesn't stop whoever it is. As it rings for the 3rd time, I jump out of bed and stomp to my purse to only see that it was dear, percious, Jensen's name on the screen.

"WHAT?"

"First, calm down with that attitude. Second, you're coming out tonight."

"No I'm not. I'm tired J. I just want to watch a stupid movie, take a bubble bath, and order room service. Is that too much to hope for?"

"Yes it is. The boys and I have barely seen you. You have been avoiding us, and I haven't missed the fact that every time I mention your name a certain man has began to perk up. I don't know what happened, but it's time to get over it. Tonight, Rob is gonna have pass The Test. So, get your shit together and strap your dick on because it's game time bitch!"

I hear Jensen's laugh before he hung up. I'm stunned for half a moment before there is a knock at the door. I trip over my shoes while trying to answer it, yelling out a 'Hold on!' Opening the door I was surprised to see those familiar blue eyes staring into me. I'm so distracted that I don't notice the blush beginning to form on him. Then I realize I had forgotten all about my state of dress.

"I'm not wearing any pants," with the words out of my mouth and I turn and run to the closet and try to desperately find a pair of pants! I hear Mr. Benedict laughing under his breath, "At least of the respect to turn around or advert your eyes!"

I start to laugh as well at the ridiculous situation. I pull on a pair of sweats and turn to see that Mr. Benedict did turn around and to shut the door. 

"Well, I wasn't expecting you at all at the door. I had just gotten off the phone with Jensen," I motion for him to have a sit while I get my stuff ready for the night.

"Yes, well Jensen told me to come fetch you. It seems that I am to have a wild night," his words cause the tension to drain from us.

"Mr. Benedict, I want to apologize for being so childish this past week. I don't know why, but I felt ashamed for what you saw that night at the theatre," sitting down, my hands start fidget in my lap, "I didn't want to have to face any disappoint from you."

I feel his rough and gentle hands cover mine, and I look up. I see nothing, but kindness and respect in his face. His calm transferred to me, and I take a deep breath and let my worry roll off my shoulders. His hands to holding onto mine, warmth and something else start to travel up to my arms. Quickly letting go, I stand and and make my way back to getting ready. Thankfully, Mr. Benedict doesn't comment on it. 

"What are you doing?" His question brings a smirk to my face. 

"Well my dear sir, for The Test, a certain uniform is required. Now, I assume Jensen sent you here, so that I could fill you in, on what will happen tonight," I see Mr. Benedict nodding his head. "Tonight, something will happen during the show. You will not know what it is, but just know that it's not bad. In fact, it will be extremely fun. There are set rules though, and they have to be followed in order to pass. Rule 1, you do what is asked of you, no exceptions. Rule 2, no tapping out. Rule 3, and this is the most important, you must not, at anytime, talk about tonight."

With the rules explained, Mr. Benedict looked like a deer in the headlights! The poor soul has no clue what to expect from tonight. I shake my head and grab his hands to drag him off the couch. With us at the door, I look him in the eye and give him a true smile and reassure him that all will be well. 

"Now, Mr. Benedict, go along and tell Jensen and the boys that everything will happen," I open the door to show him out, " Also, let them know that Ms. Lala will be there tonight."

I close the door on the bewildered face of Mr. Benedict.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Mr. Benedict pass the test? Will he follow the rules? What uniform is required? And who the hell is Ms. Lala?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this has taken so long to add! So much has happened since my last post. I have a new job that requires me to commute 2 hours a day. I'm looking to get back into the field I was in, but it's taking me awhile.
> 
> \--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The base surged through my body as I reached for the door handle. My heart was racing knowing what was about to happen. It has been so long since Ms. Lala has been out in public. Taking a deep breath, I waited for the the cue. Hearing the opening the notes, I shook my nerves out, and Ms. Lala took over. The door swinging close behind me, the spotlight hit me and I belted out the opening line for You Give Love A Bad Name. Jensen's smile can be seen from the stage. I strut my way down the aisle. 

The feeling of all eyes on me spurred me into the old routine. Jensen jumps off the stage and joins me down in the crowd. We move together and my soul comes alive once again. Feeling myself sore with each note. He can see my eyes ignite with passion as I make my way to the stage. The light is reflecting off my sequined jacket and creating the most wonderful aura of excitement and allure. No one knew who I was with my purple wig and pin up make up. In this moment, Leah didn't exist anymore, only Ms. Lala. 

Mr. Benedict is standing off to the side and his blue eyes are wide with confusion. I laugh and make my to him. Richard is leaning into him and soon I see the knowing smile break across his face. I grab his hand and pull him with me. He grabs a mic and joins Jensen and I to wrap up the last of the song. We all end with ear to ear grins and the roar of the fans. I step back and let Mr. Benedict and Jensen take over. 

"Well Jensen you mind introducing us to your friend here?"

"Rob are you telling me, you don't know who Ms. Lala is?" The fans laugh and start clapping again. Jensen gestures for me so come up to the center and join them. I see Mr. Benedict eyeing my outfit and smirking. 

"Well well well gentlemen, thanks for the support you two tonight, but I'm hurt that someone doesn't know who I am!" My dramatic explanation is working the crowd and they are booing Mr. Benedict. At least he able to play along and look sheepish. I stick my hand out for him to shake," The name is Ms. Lala, but you can call me Lala handsome." My smirk is playful and I can see it reflected in his eyes as well. 

He takes my hand and raises it to his lips. My breath hitches when he places a swift kiss to my knuckles. Our eyes briefly connecting, I can feel that same warmth from that courtyard beginning to spread throughout me. The look on his face tells me that Mr. Benedict was feeling the same. I want to look away but I can't. Those blue eyes were mesmerizing. Finally, we are both taken out of trance by the resounding sound of ooh's and aah's from the crowd. 

"Well Ms. Lala, my name is Rob, but people mostly call my God," more chuckling from the crowd.

"Only if you're lucky sir," That one had Jensen laughing with tears and I hear Richard laughing back stage. Mr. Benedict was taken aback, but quickly recovered. 

"Let's get to know each other first!" Mr. Benedict goes to grab a stool for me and I get comfortable next to him and the others, "Now, how come I haven't seen you before?"

"I've been very busy. Ms. Lala is in high demand with travelling and what not. Jensen gave me a call and luckily I was in town and thought I would pop in for an old reunion," Jensen hands me a drink and he takes over. 

"Ms. Lala used to be a big part of the convictions before you and Rich took over as the ring leaders of the show. She is and will always be the head bitch in charge," Jensen finishes and raises his glass in salute to me and the crowd starts cheering all over again.

"How come I have never known about her? None of the fans have ever mentioned her," Mr. Benedict was truly confused by this revelation. 

"Mr. Benedict what is the one thing, of many things, that make our fans the best out of all the fandoms," my question was greeted with silence.

"Their unyielding loyalty of course," Mr. Benedict's answer was met with the defining roar of fans. 

"So if they are asked to keep something secret, they would. For instance, if a certain ritual test was done, they would never speak a word of it. That is including keeping it off of tumblr, instagram, and all other forms of social media and the blogs," my answer finally causes Mr. Benedict to figure out what is going on. 

"Is The Test happening tonight," the crowd goes insane and the gang files out on stage.

Mr. Benedict throws his head back in laughter and Misha takes his mic away. Everyone is filled with joy and excitement. The fans have known about this for so long and it has been awhile since a Test has been down. It feels so good to feel that commodore once again. It's been too long. 

Misha starts explaining the rules to Mr. Benedict. The fans start lining up with their questions and dares. Jensen lines up the shots and Jared starts collecting all the electronics, even cast members. I go to stand by the back row and just enjoy the show. 

The fans' dares were hilarious and some of the questions caused some many cringe worth images, but everything has been in good fun. Some of the cast members were able to get Mr. Benedict to do some very detailed and slightly dirty things with them. Misha did get to send many fangirls home with the image of his tongue trailing Mr. Benedict's neck. Turns out the Mr. Benedict was more inclined to do the more embarrassing things than to getting drunk. 

The last of the fans had gotten through with all of their questions and dares. Everyone was back in their seats and it was 1 in the morning. I stand up and start to clean up the shot glasses and i did not see Jared pick up the mic. 

"Excuse me, but I have a dare for Mr. Benedict," Jared's mimicked high pitched girl voice caused everyone to giggle.

"Yes young lady," Mr. Benedict answers him disdain.

"I was wondering if you would be so kind to sing a duet with Ms. Lala before we all leave tonight," Jared's request was greeted by a resounding yes by everyone else but Mr. Benedict and myself. I look to him and nod my head. 

I walk up to Mr. Benedict and shoot a glare toward Jared as he hands me the mic. 

"What shall we perform for these folks Ms. Lala? Something upbeat or slow and romantic," his gaze gives a double meaning behind the question. I'm so nervous, yet his stare has me sure that this is perfectly normal. 

"I would love to do a mash up of two lovely songs, Take Me To Church and Like a Virgin," I smile and his eyes light up. 

The notes start up and we sing with our hearts out. I never felt this way when I sang with Jensen. The sudden yearning my soul felt when our voices harmonized together was soothed all at the same time. It was like I had been walking around lost and finally it knows where it is at. Mr. Benedict reaches for my hand and all I want to do it lace my fingers with him, but I can't do it. Austen's face pops into my head and I'm suddenly reminded of reality. I can no longer finish the song. I stop singing and the music comes to a halt. Everyone goes silent and all eyes are on me. 

"Mr. Benedict, I believe that with you have proven your loyalty and devotion tonight to us all. It is with great pleasure that I announce that you have past The Test. Welcome to the family," The fans go crazy and with all the noise, I discretely exit the stage and head out the side door. 

The night breeze wakes me up from the haze that had taken over me on stage. I fish my smokes out my pocket and light up. Looking up to the stars and drink in there beauty. How wonderful to just let science take over and do its part. With all these emotions, I don't know what to think anymore. My thoughts should be filled with my fiance and wedding. When they are on my mind, it should be sweet and fondness, not frustration and doubt. Mr. Benedict has plagued my thoughts since that encounter at the theater. Those blue eyes have been haunting me and all I want to do is have them on me all the time. During that song, I felt my very being come to life and a fire that had been smoldering for so long, burst into flame again. I wanted to take his hand and not let go. I just want to let go, but I can't. Last time I let go, it went incredibly bad. 

I'm startled out of thoughts by the door opening up behind me. I know who it is instantly by the smell of spice and aftershave. Mr. Benedict came and stood beside me. We don't say anything and he lets me smoke and we are fixated on the stars. 

"Ms. Lala is very interesting and a delight to be on stage with, but I would have rather been singing with Leah. I think that Leah is a very passionate and caring soul, but something happened that has caused her to be so cautious. I believe that she is beautiful and kind, but she can't see that for herself, and that makes so angry," his voice is strong. His eyes are on me now and I still can't turn to face him, "She needs to know that she is wonderful and she deserves someone who will show that to her. She shouldn't have to hide behind any wig or persona," I'm trembling now and my cigarette is out, is gaze hot as fire. I can feel the pull to turn toward him and so much more,"She is talented beyond belief and that needs to be shared with the world. She deserves everything."

His hand comes up and rest on the back of my wig and pulls it off. My brown hair tumbles out and I finally turn to him. I see the adoration in his eyes. I fingers itch so badly to touch him. I hold myself back though.

"Stop Mr. Benedict, please just stop. You can't say those type of things to me. I'm engaged," it doesn't seem to phase him. He takes a step closer to me," Mr. Benedict, you can't. You don't anything. You don't who I am, or what I've done."

Mr. Benedict grabs my hand pulls me to him. I'm flush against his chest and everything feels so right. I want to sink into his embrace, but I'm stiff. I'm so scared of everything in this moment. 

"Leah, I don't give a damn of what has happened in the past. I can only think about is your smile and your voice. I can only imagine what it will be like to sing with you again. I can only think about is making you laugh. I can only think about is holding you right now like this. Also, I can only think about is what it is going to sound like when you say my name for the first time," Mr. Benedict is holding onto me as if I'm going to run away. I feel is breath on my face. I feel the heat of his lips near mine. I crave and want this so badly that it hurts," Leah, please say it. Say my name."

Looking into his eyes, it finally hits me. This is how I should be looked at all the time. Pure of judgment and contempt. I have no feeling of needing to fix my hair or reprimand my behavior. I relax in his arms and lean in to give him a full hug. I am a coward, but this is all I can give him. 

I take a step back and he is so utterly confused. The hurt that is feeling his eyes is fueled by my rejection. 

"I can't. You don't know what you are talking about. Thank you for the compliments, but that are inappropriate," I feel the tears starting together,"I don't deserve them not from someone like you. You think you know me, but you don't. You have very few details about myself. You haven't questioned that I have returned to this particular show in years! You deserve so much more than that I can give you," my shoulders are shaking. I can barely see him, but I see his tears as well," I'm begging you to forget me. Whatever this feeling you have just drop it. I'm begging you, please. Just leave me be."

I'm sobbing and I feel his arms engulf me. I sink into his touch. His chin rest on my head and he is soothing the back of my hair down. I hear him whispering reassuring words into my ear and they meld together to bring me comfort. His warmth rocks me into calmness. Mr. Benedict lifts my chin up and gazes onto me. 

"I'm not going anywhere. You can bet on that," his honest words swell inside me and all I can do is reach up. I find the curls at the nap of his neck and run my fingers through.

"I think I will Rob," with that I stretch up and bring our lips together. We meld together and I cannot have felt something as wonderful as this. Slightly chapped lips message mine into submission that I go willing into. Rob's strong grip is reassuring and unrelenting. His tongue traces my lips and ask for entrance and I grant it. Nothing can beat this heavenly moment for me. We both slow down to small pecks and rest against each others foreheads. 

"Leah, I know what just happened has breached so much of what we both stand for, but I'm not sorry for how I feel. It will never happen again while you are with him," Rob's honest face has me calm. I cup his cheek and run my thumb back and forth as I squeeze the other hand. 

"Goodnight Rob," I whisper to him and walk away. Leaving him under the moonlight, I make my way to my room. I take off the make up and rid myself of Ms. Lala, and climb into bed. I think about those divine lips and true words. Above all, I am lulled to sleep of the memory of how my name sounded coming off his tongue.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own and part of Supernatural and I have much love for all the wives and members!
> 
> Why is Jensen yelling at Leah? 
> 
> This will be a little bit of back story on Leah. I'm really excited for this Chapter! So please please comment and Kudos!

**Flash Back**

Everything was grey; cold, sterile, and buzzing. So much noise and activity, but I felt no connection to any of it. I felt swallowed up in the thin paper gown. The constant pull of wires when I try to move bring me back to reality. I look to the case worker that has been assigned to me. She had no particular traits that would set her apart from anyone else that came in and out of my room. 

"So Ms. Maxson, tell me, what caused you to attempt suicide?"

**End Flashback**

The coffee was bitter and starting to get cold. The stale sunlight was streaming through the window creating a haze of monotone voices. I try to focus, but nothing can my interest long enough. I've been a daze for the past week. Going through the airport security, scheduling meetings, emails, conference calls, wedding details, and panels with the least amount of energy possible. I'm so tired, and I just want it all to stop.

With the end of whatever meeting this was, I say my polite good byes and walk out. Walking out in the sun should make me feel better, but I try to desperately to get to the hotel across the street where the new con is taking place. Miami is suppose to be fun and exhilarating filled with passion, but I'm just being tormented by blue eyes and an actor that is my fiance. I'm so tired from dodging everyone and coming up with excuses for one thing or another. All I care about is for when the sun goes down and I am able to go back to my room and be in complete silence.

My phone goes off and I see that it's Jensen, wanting to know if I would be joining them for dinner tonight. I of course told him that I was too busy with emails or something. I fill my coffee mug up in the lobby before heading to my room. Stepping to elevator, I push the button for my floor, and right before the door closes, I hand shoots through and a very energetic body pushes itself through. Trying to catch their breath, Jensen stares me straight in the eyes. 

"So, e-mails huh?" His gaze is piercing.

The rest of the ride is in silent. I feel the tension building up and I just want out. I start to fidget and avoid his gaze with my own. With the ding, my able to slip out the door and head straight to my room. Jensen is hot on my heels, I throw u[open my door, without kicking my shoes off, I head right to the balcony and light up. I hear Jensen raffling around, but I can't bring myself to look. I just need a release. I hear the his steps and wait for whatever lecture he has loaded. It wasn't till I heard the loose rattling of medicine do I turn to him.

"What are you doing with those?" I eye Jensen with my medication in his hand. 

"I don't know Leah. Why am I holding a prescription that should be, according to the label, be empty!" I see the worry, but I can't bring myself to care.

"What do you think? You seem so smart, so why don't you figure it out," I chunk my cigarette over the railing and push pass him. 

I drop my purse, shoes, and blazer onto the pile of my other stuff by the bed. Nice little pile of forgotten bullshit. I head for the mini bar, and pull out the tequila and crack open a Monster and mix it into a glass. Turning to glance at Jensen, I raise my drink in an arrogant toast.

"What the fuck is going on Leah?" I can see the worry in his eyes, and all I want to do is run into his arms and just let go. To repeat the day from 4 years ago. 

**Flashback**

Regret, so much regret. My body is aching from all the stress. I'm sobbing, yelling, shouting, and so unbelievable tired. Even though so much chaos, but a solid form is rocking me back and forth. I want to be relieved, but so much guilt is coursing through me for making him be here. All the apologies I want to give him are falling on deaf ears. He keeps soothing me with reassuring phrases, and I just keep crying.

"It's over Leah. You don't have to have to scared anymore," Jensen keeps his tight hold on me till Dannell shows the paramedics through the door. 

**End Flashback**

"I don't need the meds," my reply lit the match.

He chunks the medicine at the wall and rushes at me. I try to dart away, spilling my drink, and snatches my glasses and hurls it across the room. The shattering glass has me frozen still. I see him heaving in all the air to try and calm himself. My wide eyes never leaving him. 

"Are we back here?! After all of your fighting and strides you have done, you are back to this spot! What the fuck are you thinking of 'I don't need the meds' Leah," I'm too ashamed to answer, "Guess who I got a call from this morning? Your mother. She is worried sick. She hasn't heard from you in 3 weeks! You aren't picking up her calls, and when she does get you on the phone, you barely last a minute. For the love of God, what is going on here. She also informed me that you gave up Therapy 8 months ago!"

I start to tremble, and my gaze breaks. I turn away scrambling to get outside to start another smoke again, but he is hot on my heels.

"Leah, I'm kidding, tell me what is going on!" He yanks me around. "Don't fucking ignore me. Don't you think I deserve some kind of explanation here?" 

You could see the the cigarette shaking from a mile away, so is my resolve. Tears are threatening to fall.

"Leave it alone, please," my whisper is fragile, and he steps closer. He grabs my cigarette and throws it over the balcony, "Just leave me alone. I can't put you through this again." I keep my eyes down and shuffling my feet.

"Well, you ain't get fat fucking choice in the matter, so get over it," and he pulls me into his arms. 

And I break.  
\--

After I spill all my tears, I go to the bathroom and take my make up off, and throw my hair up. Walking out, I see the Jensen is starting to pick up around my room. I stand in silence admiring the devotion this man has shown me. I have put so much into his hands and both, him and Dannell, and they just keep accepting more, without anything in return. They stayed by my bedside till my mother was able to get to the hospital. Then they had arranged hotel accommodations for my entire family and friends when they arrived. Without question, those two took care of everyone. Jensen notices me and stops.

"Let's get start with getting this room in order, and then we can talk," his question makes for a great distraction for me to ground myself. 

We spend 30 minutes going through the piles on the floor and trash along the counter. Calling up for housekeeping to take out trash bags and get my things sen to the cleaners. Dishes are sent back down to the kitchen, new sheets are fitted to the bed, and fresh flowers were brought up. Beautiful yellow roses and tiger lilies stood proud like a shining beacon of a new start. With the room being nice and open, we order coffee and sit out on the balcony.

"So, first, why did you stop taking the meds and stop seeing your doctor?" Jensen's eyes are so open and I can't help but tell him everything.

It started with forgetting one morning, then it snowballed. I tell him my fears of needing the medication just to feel normal. That I thought I was strong enough to not need therapy anymore. Being so sure that I was better again to take care of my own problems, and not have to dump them on someone else. I was tired of the all the steps to reach the point of being comfortable around people. I felt so trap to show everyone that I was improving and that I was better. I got so caught up in the showing than the actual doing. 

"The next thing I knew, some guy was interested in me. I never thought that anyone would want someone who has been broken, or would be willing to take on that baggage. He was so kind and smart. I was swept off my feet," I paused and took a deep breath, "Then when I saw him on his knee with that ring, I was so excited. I'm finally engaged! Years of the girls talking about their weddings, getting the invitations, attending shower after shower, and now its my turn!" 

Jensen let me lay my head on his shoulder. He passed me some coffee and took my hand to look at the ring. 

"I am looking forward to the day you get married Leah. You deserve to be loved and cherished. I see the love that is in your heart, and it is going to be the best love story ever heard when that love is given to another," this is where he pauses," But Austen isn't that man."

I look up sharply, wondering what the hell he is thinking. 

"When someone accepts a proposal, it's not for finally being able to have a wedding. It's because you get to be with them after the wedding. You get to build a life with them, and go through the world together fighting and laughing. Never having to face the dark times alone," Jensen matches my gaze.

I know what he is saying, but I can't bring myself to admit it. So I give him a very simple reply.

"But the ring is so pretty."

We both laugh.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing on from the previous chapter. Maybe Jensen and get through to Leah. Also, A little late night revelations made by our sweet Rob.

I open my eyes to the soft light and the low hum of the television. Looking around I see how much better the room looks from cleaning it earlier. Jensen is in the other room speaking lowly, but firmly. For the first time in about 5 months, I feel rested, I'm comfortable. Pulling the blanket back, I get up and make my to the coffee maker. Starting the machine, I creep into the other so not to interrupt Jensen's conversation.

He waves at me, but continues on and I sit and watch the news while listening to him. 

"She's fine Dani," I laugh at his exhausted sigh as he tries to deal with his wife, "No, you don't need to come out here. If she needs you, she will call you babe. We are set here. I will let her know that you offered. I will call you and the kids tomorrow. I love ya to. Goodnight," Jensen hangs up and sits next to me and pats me on the leg. 

"Dani wants you to know that if you need it, the your room is still yours," he brings his arm to pull me into his side and I let a laugh. 

"Let her know that I appreciate it, and I might take her up on it," we are silent for a minutes, letting the news buzz in the distance.

"Leah, why are you avoiding your family," his voice is low, " We could barely get you off the phone because you were always talking to one of them." 

I knew this conversation was coming.

"Your family was always coming to set. Hell, we would get excited if it was your mom or aunts because we knew that we were gonna get fed a proper meal for once! If your stepdad came, we knew that we would get some shit fixed in our apartments. Hell your dad always took us out for steak and paid the bill everytime! Your brother-in-law always told which fuck strain of weed to get! So please tell me, what is going on?" Jensen is in wonderment trying to figure out my issues is still one of the most surreal things about my life. 

I get up, get my coffee, and head to the balcony. Pulling my robe around me and sitting down, I enjoy the sunset before me. I can feel Jensen behind me. He holds out a cigarette to me, I accept, and he holds up a lighter for me, and I accept. Leaning on the rail, I take in vibrant oranges, yellows, and reds that paint the skyline. 

"I never thought, I would be here Jensen. Not once did I see myself at this age. Almost 5 years ago, I was gonna give this up," as shaky as my start is, I continue, "My recover was rocky, but damn, I came out swinging. The mountains I climbed and every rocky ground I cam upon, I survived. I was fierce and nothing was going to come between me and my happiness."

"But?"

"But, it started to slip away. When my friends and I had dinner with Austen that first night, he was kind of with someone. No one really told me what was going on, but I could see it. I was so tired of being alone. I knew I had family and a massive support system, but I wanted more. So, I saw this girl who was so free, hectic, fire, and such a rush, then there was Austen giving her a look of disapproval. Then he was getting closer to me and I decided to give it try. I became the uncomplicated girl. He made the choices and I was along for the ride. I finally had normality. He brought down from clouds!" I hang my head after deceleration of defeat, "I lost my voice. I was tired of fighting so hard for everything, so I gave it over to him. I do step up, but the majority of the time it's him. So when he doesn't feel like seeing my family, I make an excuse. Now though, even if I bring them up, I can feel his exhaustion without a word. I just stopped," finally I stop talking and look at Jensen.

The silent anger and understanding was raging a war in his eyes. He wants to be mad, but he knows how tired I am. 

"Leah, I'm not going to yell. I'm not going to make you feel guilty when you are doing a good enough job for everyone. I am going to say that, you already know what you need to do. And I will be by your side during it all. You wanted to let go for a bit, but now, you let everything go and you are scrambling to get it back. You know that you can't keep holding on to Austen with one hand, when your life needs both," he throws an arm around me, "The love of your life shouldn't have you holding onto them in order for them to stay and help. They are going to be there on their own free will, helping you with their two hands as well."

In beautiful night of glowing stars, Jensen pulls me into a hug. I sigh with relief and tighten my hold around him. We both lean back and smile.

"Can we go out now. I want to laugh," my smile of a statement makes him laugh.

We head back in, I grab my bag, and we go. In his car, we just let go and sing at the tops of our lungs. I am full of light and happiness as we pull up to the bar that the cast is at. Luckily, it's pretty sparse inside, so not to many people outside of our group is ogling at us. I see Misha and Jared standing and grinning like idiots at us. they come and wrap me up in their arms and pick me off the floor.

"We got you," Misha whispers.

"Wether you like it or not," Jared adds.

I'm spun around and put back to solid ground. I see nothing but love and trust in their eyes, and a drink in Jensen's hands. 

"That better be mine pretty boy," I laugh out, and take my seat. 

For a good 45 minutes we all laugh and swap stories that would Clinton blush. Having the gang here is amazing and reminds me of what I have been missing. I see Mark Sheppard talking with Sebastian together in hushed tones and sharing baby pictures. Ruth is showing Jensen videos of her yoga classes. I can hear Jared's deep laugh due to Kim's jokes. Misha is harassing the waitress and making her blush like crazy. I'm beyond lucky to be here. 

I signal for Jensen to meet me out on the patio. 

"I know what I need to do," my voice is soft, but full. His eyes drop to my hands. He sees me turning the engagement ring around and around, knowing that it never felt right on me. 

"You sure?" 

"Very, I'm going to wait till, next week. He is visiting his family this weekend, so I'll talk to him when he calls me once he gets back to Texas," I say with determination.

"I'm proud of you girl," He pulls me in. Resting his chin on my head. I feel his arms tight around me, and his whisper sounds so childish, "You know, once that's done, there is a certain blue eyed front man that would be really interest in all this."

I laugh out loud and slap his arm. I grin up at him and shake my head. If no one knew our relationship, they would misconstrue it into something else. Luckily, the show has an amazing fan base that knows better. I feel Jensen grips my arms and turns me around towards the doors. Through the glass, I see the particular blue eyed front man, sitting with at the table. His smile and is shattering to my soul. 

"Now, let's go make this night for him because if I have to hear him sigh one more time when your name is mentioned, I'm going to strangle someone," he huffs out and slaps my ass,"Let's go!"

Coming through the door, Rob and I lock eyes. His widen for a moment and then he gives me a nod of the head indicating the empty sit next to him. Making my way over, I feel the overwhelming cosmic shift in the universe that something is coming my way soon. I don't know what, but I feel it, and I'm ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I have been needing to get through these past two chapters because it has been brutal! We finally got to see Rob again! We are back onto the Rob train, and we are gonna make some headway!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh lord Oh lord! RomComs and Jared yelling, what more could Leah want! Also, why is the hotel manager waving?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any aspect of Supernatural and I love all the actors and their wives!

Filled with good beer and surrounded by even better company, I was warm with love and peace. Hearing the room buzzed with nothing but laughter, it left me simply happy. I could feel Rob's eyes on me all night, and that smile was only aimed for me. Our arms and knees kept brushing against one another and it would send electricity throughout my body. As much as I want to know how it would feel running my fingers up his biceps. To have his beard against my neck as he whispers in my ear. To feel his hand sliding up my thigh. Most of all, I want to feel my hand in his. Having those eyes trained on me, promising protection and love; something that I haven't felt in awhile. 

Lost in my thoughts, I did not notice that everyone has started to gather and head out. It's just the two of still at the table and Misha is gleaming a smile in our direction while Jensen is pointing a knowing look filled with...well, with approval. I'm brought back to my current situation when I see an outreached hand by me. Looking up, Rob is waiting. With nerves and courage, I take his hand and accept his smile. 

"How about we get out of here?" He whispered and we were off. 

\--

Walking hand in hand at dusk with the city traffic creating a charming background buzz is what all those stupid RomCom movies are all made of. Yet, I can't help but be entranced by this moment. Listening to Rob talk about the band and his career is insightful. He is so passionate about his art and work. We see a little park before reaching the hotel and we stop. Sitting on a bench with hands still connected, I can feel his thumb rubbing smoothing circles on the back of my hand. Stars start to shine brighter as I look up at the sky smiling.

"You seem happy," he began,"you can stop me if I overstep, but I know things have been tense since our last encounter, and it felt like you were avoiding me. Then when I mentioned it to Jensen, he just kept babbling about the past which caused him to get slightly angry. When Misha and Jared noticed what was going on, they just started talking in hushed tones and when I asked about it, they just stopped. Jensen explained that it wasn't his story to tell nor explain." 

His eyes were so sincere and warm. I could feel my want to pull away and just hide, but those eyes held me. 

"Please don't feel like you are pressured to say anything here, but can I take a guess," His question was soft and soothing, the way one speaks to a horse before they take off. I nod my head as I hold his stare and tighten my hold on his hand. "I believe something happened to you that caused you to break. I believe that Austen is an escape and that it's easy for you. I believe that you are not happy and you don't believe that you deserve it."

Silence falls over us and so does my tears. I wasn't even aware that I was holding any back. I guess it happens you have been trying to hide for so long. Early, I thought I had cried it all out with Jensen, but this was different. Rob put his arm around me and pulled me in, tucking me under his chin. They weren't angry tears or sloppy, but just a release. I never liked the silence when Austen was around. It felt like it was always building up to something that would just explode. With Rob, the silence is comforting. 

"You are right," I explain, "something did happen, but I can't talk about just yet." I can feel him nod in understanding. "What you got wrong was that it's easy being with Austen. It started because , yes there was feeling, but I just don't want to be alone. Now, I have allowed myself to be put down, controlled, and humiliated."

I feel his hand tighten around mine, but it does not harden. I lean away and turn to look at him. Those damn eyes are going to be my undoing. They will not stop me though, so I continue on,

"Austen is visiting his family this weekend, but should be in Texas by Tuesday. When he does, I'm going to take a day or two off and go see him," I see his confusion and maybe a little sadness, "I'm going to end it with him, Rob. I can't, nor won't, be with a man who does not care for my happiness."

I never though I would see a smile that bright. It's contagious and I'm smiling with him. I duck my head and bite my lower lip. A finger is lifting my chin up and those damn eyes are drawing me in. I can feel his soft puffs of breath on my lips. His eyes look down as my tongue darts out to wet my now too dry lips. His hand is now cradling my cheek and I lean into it. 

I catch myself and pull away before making another mistake with Rob. 

"Rob, please understand that I want to kiss you so badly, but I won't. Not while I'm still engaged with Austen," I rush out and Rob is hugging me.

"Don't worry, I promise to be the perfect gentleman," I feel his smile against my cheek. "I however, can't promise how much I of a gentlemen I will be once you are a free woman!" The laugh is pulled from deep within me and we are both doubled over. "Let's get back to the hotel."

\--

I should not have let my guard down. I should not have believed that a night like this could happen. I could not have expected that things could go as it does in the movies. Being distracted by Rob's smile and those damn eyes has left me vulnerable. Perfect opportunity for the universe to just bitch slap me. 

Walking into the lobby we never noticed the concerned looking staff. Holding hands and sharing shy glances and stupid giggles. Getting into the elevator we missed the manager that tried to wave of us down, just to wrapped in the feeling of our clasped hands. Once on our floor, he is walking me to my room, we were never distracted by the noise coming from Jared's room, or the security that got off the elevator next to ours. Looking up at Rob, I could feel the happiness covering me.

When Jared's door opened, and all since of protection was ripped away. 

"You need to leave NOW!" Jared's booming voice was heard all down the hall and doors started to open all along the way, "Leave now and we won't press charges." Jared turns his head slightly and does a double take at me and his expression is shock and worry at once.

"Jared, what the hell is going on?" My question is followed as the two security guards walk pass and go into Jared's room. Now I am the one confused.

Before I can ask or Jared can answer, Jensen and Misha rush out of his room and come to a halt at seeing me. 

"Leah, get in your room now," Misha plea is making me more intrigued and worried.

Then his voice reaches me. The voice I wasn't expecting. I let my guard down and the universe suckered me in the stomach. 

"I want my fiance right now! Tell me where she is or I will cause an even bigger scene. She hasn't answered my calls for the past week. I need to see her and I know you assholes know where she is, so tell me where she is NOW!" Austen's screaming has caused everyone on our floor to open their doors. 

I quickly drop Rob's hand and step toward Austen before he can see me. His anger is rolling off in waves. I see his hands shaking slightly and clothes are rumpled. With a calm low voice, I try to diffuse the situation before it goes into the tabloids. 

"Austen," he whips toward me and widen eyes stare me down, "Baby, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you! Why the hell have you not answered my calls and ignoring my text?" Again with the shouting.

"Well here I am, but you have to calm down. I'm assuming these two guards are here to take you away, and we can't talk when you are thrown out," he finally realizes that he is causing a scene.

Turning to the guards, "Gentlemen, I understand that we have caused a scene, but my fiance is calm now and we promise not to have anymore incidents. Please have the manager set up a meeting in the morning for the two of us before I check out and I will be happy to apologize for the disturbance." 

With the security gone, I turn to our group and take in the entire situation. 

"Well, Austen will you please come into my room and we can talk?" Before he can say anything, Jensen stepped in.

"We aren't going to let him anywhere near you with the anger he has shown tonight," and by his tense stance. I know there is no fighting. Austen puffs up ready to fight, which to be honest, is funny.

"Everyone get in my room then, and not a word till I change," Opening my door and Jensen, Austen, Jared, and Misha bustle in, but Rob stops. 

"Are you sure about this, we can have him escorted out," his whisper concern allows me to know that, I will be making the right choice. 

"It will be fine Rob. I promise," I smile up at him.

Waiting for a brief pause and I knowing that this is the moment that the universe is giving me to change it all. 

However, no one knows which way it will change


End file.
